Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.