Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
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I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
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I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams