Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.