If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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