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I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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