i don't like sucking hair
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.