idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it