No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I think i got beer on your cat.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize