Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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