why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize