i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
