Sober January is a disaster.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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