I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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