Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
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I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
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