Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
