absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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