Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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