Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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