Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I touched a dick in church today
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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