May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
