just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize