it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
