yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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