The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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