Whod you bang
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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