I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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