Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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