i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.