I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.