you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.