She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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