Dual....:-)
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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