im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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