woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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