these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
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His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
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It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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