Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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