Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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