to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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