Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
