your room smells of hookers.
And success
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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