well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
