the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?