Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who