sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
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I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
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I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.