Joe is yelling at the trees again.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.