Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs