I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.