so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Are we in a gay sports bar?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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