She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sext me about skeletons
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize