No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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