Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize