Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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