No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
