She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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