I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid