you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.