Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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