but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
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Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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