Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
