Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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