But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
